Skirting the Mundane

Mental health bulletin: I feel much better today. This is partly due to Googlism. It is a website that lets you know what something is by asking Google. Behold, the truths revealed:

Jessica is satan
Nate is ass nate you baptist freak
Emily is a massive chewer
Elise is certainly very difficult
Katherine is inexperienced when it comes to social and sexual relationships
Colleen is baaack
Tawnie is a great example of canine motherhood
Jacob is a thoroughly secular person
Katie is astounded to learn her ghost remains
Steph is discovered by a ninja
Obi is not practical or comfortable in this case
Heather is most abundant in section 9
Grandma is a slut

And now, Jessica is going to bed. Or rather, Jessica is gone by possumtoy.

So suddenly I am not good enough. Ah, this feels familiar. It's very frustrating, though, to have been doing fine all semester with my lack of focus on school and my silly fangirl pastimes and obsessing over websites and boys and clothes and crap like that, and then magically not be doing nearly as well as I have been all along.

I am just so full of... I don't even know what. I have to get out of this apartment, that will help, but I am still sick and although it's sunnier today it still doesn't look exactly nice. But I have to leave because I am going crazy in this box. I slept last night, the asthmatic coughing wasn't too bad, and I've studied a few hours this morning, finished making notes and such. We'll see how the remaining two days of the semester turn out.

Fuck Monday. Though I did go shopping with Emily and have a really fantastic time, so that's good. We will look gorgeous in the world of work. Smiles!

CKUA is playing some trippy Joan Baez thing about "pitiful dead on summer grass". It's really freaking creepy, actually. Spoken word with mournful violins and strategic "ban-DAAAAAH"s in the background. Apparently it's off Baptism: A Journey Through Our Time. I don't know if I recommend it, it's kind of purple prose. Coming from me, that's saying something.

The past few days have been something of a rollercoaster: I feel really good sometimes and randomly pissy at others and myself for no good reason other times. I'm still on a high from a kickass weekend, and thus disappointed by the return to "old clothes and porridge" (as my Grannie says). This, I suppose, is what life is frequently like. I'm turning back into who I was in high school; I can feel it. All the patterns I put away last year, all the things people here didn't know me well enough to notice, seem to be returning. They're not full force, and I hope they never will be, because in the meantime I've actually started liking myself okay a lot of the time, which is kind of a big deal, for me. I may just have to move around a lot in my life so that I can leave before people realize I'm that wacky Jessica. It's something I bring on myself, really, and I don't want to change it entirely but there are times when I wish I could.

I studied with strangers tonight because really, it's better to study with strangers: you don't gainsay people or get off track or what have you as easily. And having That Dumb Guy in the group can be an asset, just for purposes of your personal morale. Someone you can disagree with and feel superior to in your disagreement. And in political economy there's plenty to disagree about, so That Dumb Guy becomes all the more valuable.

Ooh, now they're playing Judy Collins, Since You Asked. Lovely.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
There is a difference between "Temp" and "My Documents". WHY AM I SO DUMB?