Wednesday, June 30, 2004
During the election yesterday, I realized why I need to get out of this province. People like the Conservative scrutineer are why I need to get out of this province. She started off being just a nice, chatty lady (Nathan M's grandma, as a matter of fact), and pretty much finished off that way too, and I would have really liked her except for a certain disrespect for the choices of others that I detected in her.
Not so much "detected" as "was immersed in". I stood, trying to look polite, as Mrs. Nathan's G-Ma yammered on in a slightly deranged fashion about a variety of things close to her heart, most of which seemed in some way to involve First Nations being slightly ungrateful and, you know, damaged. To whit:
1) Abortion is bad, and women should not be allowed to choose whether or not to bring a child into the world, because all children are a blessing no matter what time they come or to whom, e.g. a 14-year-old raped by her cousin must still have that blessing of a child which will drive her into poverty and will probably have a cleft palate requiring surgery.
2) Satan exists and has spirituals or elements or demons or some such things abroad in the world, spreading evil. Yeah.
3) Homosexuality is caused by these demons (at this point she hissed conspiratorially to me, "a man putting his penis in another man?! It's not natural!"). She pulled out the old Sodom and Gomorrah chestnut, also.
4) The Beatles' music is frequently inspired by The Occult (her tones invested the idea with capital letters) and therefore should be avoided. Don't even get me started.
5) Jean Chretien is a right bastard. Well, she actually had a pretty solid story supporting that. Her husband did a hell of a lot of work for the Libs and then the petit gars changed his mind about a pipeline location and the whole project went bust, leaving the family bankrupt. Grinning bastard.
On the outside, I wore my "hmm, that is an interesting viewpoint, madam, and for democracy's sake I respect your right to support that view" face. On the inside, the "sit down, bitch" face was king.
In reference to items 2 and 3, sometimes I wonder if "believing in metaphor" and "bad Catholic" are the same trait. Is it not possible that God meant some things figuratively when (S)He wrote the Bible? Although I'm guessing Mrs. Nathan's G-ma is Protestant. She was very careful to mention that the priests in the residential schools were Catholic... Come to think of it, I should have just said, "excuse me, I have to go pray to the Virgin Mary, Mother of God", and she would have left me alone. Or tried to convert me, take your pick.
Mentioning my vegetarianism would probably have been a better tactic -- some people just can't accept that everything in this world isn't always as God intended it, as in, production methods suck, so don't eat the cows! But noooo, "God said, 'Let us make mankind in our image and likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, over all wild animals and every creature that crawls on the earth.'" So that is what we must do, despite the fact that maybe the fact that we can doesn't mean we have to. Maybe we should wait until we have worked out how to produce meat in a manner that causes suffering for none of God's creation before we go commanding everyone to eat the damn steroid-addled, drug-pumpin' hamburgers! No? Oh. Okay.
Of course, I didn't say any of these things. Instead I murmured that I don't really come from the same tradition as she does, evidenced by the Liberal sticker on my shirt, and postulated that Canada is big enough for many different opinions. Provided, of course, that everyone agrees with me. However, my silence had benefits: We shared a perfectly companionable dinner at the Pasta Pantry and then she treated me to an iced cappucino. And she really is a nice lady, very devoted to her grandsons. She's also crazy on a par with the Outlet Mall Crazy Lady I encountered in Maine last summer. What an interesting duality there is in all of us.
My, what an insanely long post. I hope you were all interested in the mentality of Mrs. Nathan's G-ma, a.k.a. Polling Station Crazy Lady. If not, report immediately to the guestbook with either an explanation of your boredom or a better Crazy Lady story.
Closing thought: Why are right-wing extremists always small, aging, companionable women with serene smiles and a steely demeanour?
Not so much "detected" as "was immersed in". I stood, trying to look polite, as Mrs. Nathan's G-Ma yammered on in a slightly deranged fashion about a variety of things close to her heart, most of which seemed in some way to involve First Nations being slightly ungrateful and, you know, damaged. To whit:
1) Abortion is bad, and women should not be allowed to choose whether or not to bring a child into the world, because all children are a blessing no matter what time they come or to whom, e.g. a 14-year-old raped by her cousin must still have that blessing of a child which will drive her into poverty and will probably have a cleft palate requiring surgery.
2) Satan exists and has spirituals or elements or demons or some such things abroad in the world, spreading evil. Yeah.
3) Homosexuality is caused by these demons (at this point she hissed conspiratorially to me, "a man putting his penis in another man?! It's not natural!"). She pulled out the old Sodom and Gomorrah chestnut, also.
4) The Beatles' music is frequently inspired by The Occult (her tones invested the idea with capital letters) and therefore should be avoided. Don't even get me started.
5) Jean Chretien is a right bastard. Well, she actually had a pretty solid story supporting that. Her husband did a hell of a lot of work for the Libs and then the petit gars changed his mind about a pipeline location and the whole project went bust, leaving the family bankrupt. Grinning bastard.
On the outside, I wore my "hmm, that is an interesting viewpoint, madam, and for democracy's sake I respect your right to support that view" face. On the inside, the "sit down, bitch" face was king.
In reference to items 2 and 3, sometimes I wonder if "believing in metaphor" and "bad Catholic" are the same trait. Is it not possible that God meant some things figuratively when (S)He wrote the Bible? Although I'm guessing Mrs. Nathan's G-ma is Protestant. She was very careful to mention that the priests in the residential schools were Catholic... Come to think of it, I should have just said, "excuse me, I have to go pray to the Virgin Mary, Mother of God", and she would have left me alone. Or tried to convert me, take your pick.
Mentioning my vegetarianism would probably have been a better tactic -- some people just can't accept that everything in this world isn't always as God intended it, as in, production methods suck, so don't eat the cows! But noooo, "God said, 'Let us make mankind in our image and likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, over all wild animals and every creature that crawls on the earth.'" So that is what we must do, despite the fact that maybe the fact that we can doesn't mean we have to. Maybe we should wait until we have worked out how to produce meat in a manner that causes suffering for none of God's creation before we go commanding everyone to eat the damn steroid-addled, drug-pumpin' hamburgers! No? Oh. Okay.
Of course, I didn't say any of these things. Instead I murmured that I don't really come from the same tradition as she does, evidenced by the Liberal sticker on my shirt, and postulated that Canada is big enough for many different opinions. Provided, of course, that everyone agrees with me. However, my silence had benefits: We shared a perfectly companionable dinner at the Pasta Pantry and then she treated me to an iced cappucino. And she really is a nice lady, very devoted to her grandsons. She's also crazy on a par with the Outlet Mall Crazy Lady I encountered in Maine last summer. What an interesting duality there is in all of us.
My, what an insanely long post. I hope you were all interested in the mentality of Mrs. Nathan's G-ma, a.k.a. Polling Station Crazy Lady. If not, report immediately to the guestbook with either an explanation of your boredom or a better Crazy Lady story.
Closing thought: Why are right-wing extremists always small, aging, companionable women with serene smiles and a steely demeanour?
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
You know what sucks? It sucks when you've written a page-long entry about your delightful first day at work (fine, except for a few mistakes on my part and a few crazies as a gift from the universe -- "I would like this purchase rung through in three separate batches, for no apparent reason, because none of the items have GST on them and I could just add the stuff up at home.") and your blog eats it. Too many italics, I guess. It couldn't handle the intensity of the sarcasm. I'll try to restrain myself. Anyway, I remember the last line of it. I believe it was, "Thank you, sir. Fuck you, and have a nice day."
You know what also sucks? Maureen Towns lost. I scrutineered for her campaign today and frigging Ken Epp, Ugliest Man in the World, won by a hell of a lot because people don't know a good candidate when they see one. Even if every single Green and NDPer had voted Liberal, Maureen still would have lost. Mofo Conservative incumbent. BAH. Now the question is, when volunteering on Parliament Hill, do I hold my nose and go to Epp because he's "my" MP or do I seek out someone more palatable, but unfamiliar? Hmm. Decisions...
Tomorrow is my second shift at work. I hope it goes well, and no-one hates me. I also hope I'm on till with Iris, because she's a crazy chatty hick with fewer teeth than are customary in this day and age but I like her anyway.
Today's post has been brought to you by the produce code 4045, for cherries, and by the number 136, which may or may not be the number of Liberal seats in the minority.
You know what also sucks? Maureen Towns lost. I scrutineered for her campaign today and frigging Ken Epp, Ugliest Man in the World, won by a hell of a lot because people don't know a good candidate when they see one. Even if every single Green and NDPer had voted Liberal, Maureen still would have lost. Mofo Conservative incumbent. BAH. Now the question is, when volunteering on Parliament Hill, do I hold my nose and go to Epp because he's "my" MP or do I seek out someone more palatable, but unfamiliar? Hmm. Decisions...
Tomorrow is my second shift at work. I hope it goes well, and no-one hates me. I also hope I'm on till with Iris, because she's a crazy chatty hick with fewer teeth than are customary in this day and age but I like her anyway.
Today's post has been brought to you by the produce code 4045, for cherries, and by the number 136, which may or may not be the number of Liberal seats in the minority.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Weeeeell, I have some scandalous news. Sort of.
Ho #2, if your neighbours to the right were not making love at 11:30 last night as I was getting my bike from your backyard, I do not want to know what else they were doing.
Just please tell them that Venetian blinds, while opaque, are not soundproof in the same way that a closed window would be.
Shudder.
Ho #2, if your neighbours to the right were not making love at 11:30 last night as I was getting my bike from your backyard, I do not want to know what else they were doing.
Just please tell them that Venetian blinds, while opaque, are not soundproof in the same way that a closed window would be.
Shudder.
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
I AM 55% HIPPIE!  I am not a child of the 60’s but my heart is true to the cause, man. I realize that being a hippie is not just bell bottoms and tie-dye. It is also about the drugs and smelling bad, too! |
Man. I'm dirty, man.
I win! It's pathetic that I was actually tense waiting for my results page to load. I would have cried if I hadn't gotten Grammar Goddess, so I guess it's a good thing I did.
I also find it amusing that the face of God is the one from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!
How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Life is good. Not only am I a Grammar Goddess (I can't stop saying it now), but I am going to university, I have a mere three finals left to write, and I finally did well on two consecutive assignments in chem. This is probably because we are doing the world's easiest unit right now (placed at the end of the year by design).
Grad was also awesome, and is contributing to my happiness. The most exciting things that happened to me were:
1) I got a nosebleed
2) I whacked Tom's 1L Dr. Pepper with my elbow and sent it flying all over Paul's carpet
3) Everybody looked so fabulous! I still can't get over all the sharp-dressed men and movie star ladies!
4) I cried during the parent/child dance.
Here is what they played during the parent/child dance:
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through, through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
Isn't it weepy? Now imagine some of your best friends and their mummies and/or daddies, revolving slowly around you and around each other on a crowded dance floor on the last night of your childhood. It's even weepier that way.
Now imagine your mum taking pictures of you as you dance and cry, and every time you stop crying she goes to take ANOTHER photo, and you start crying again as she takes the photo. Eventually you are sniffling at her to just *stop already* and leave the pictures for after you've had a chance to fix your eyeliner, but she doesn't seem to UNDERSTAND, and maybe that's because you start crying again every time you try to open your mouth.
Dammit, now I'm crying again. I shouldn't have read those lyrics, I should have just posted the damn things instead of trying to write about 'em. Well, that will teach me.
However, I have made oatmeal-chocolate chip-walnut cookies today. The grad presents have started coming in as well, so I did some non-PUTSA-assisted shopping and bought a new pair of black sandals (2" heels! Oh my!), a tealish Camisole of Cuteness, and the Love Actually DVD. That last one is my sister's grad present to me, but she owes me money for it. Weird, no? Ah well.
Three days until my hair is chopped off. Go me!
I also find it amusing that the face of God is the one from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!
How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Life is good. Not only am I a Grammar Goddess (I can't stop saying it now), but I am going to university, I have a mere three finals left to write, and I finally did well on two consecutive assignments in chem. This is probably because we are doing the world's easiest unit right now (placed at the end of the year by design).
Grad was also awesome, and is contributing to my happiness. The most exciting things that happened to me were:
1) I got a nosebleed
2) I whacked Tom's 1L Dr. Pepper with my elbow and sent it flying all over Paul's carpet
3) Everybody looked so fabulous! I still can't get over all the sharp-dressed men and movie star ladies!
4) I cried during the parent/child dance.
Here is what they played during the parent/child dance:
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through, through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith'cuz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
Isn't it weepy? Now imagine some of your best friends and their mummies and/or daddies, revolving slowly around you and around each other on a crowded dance floor on the last night of your childhood. It's even weepier that way.
Now imagine your mum taking pictures of you as you dance and cry, and every time you stop crying she goes to take ANOTHER photo, and you start crying again as she takes the photo. Eventually you are sniffling at her to just *stop already* and leave the pictures for after you've had a chance to fix your eyeliner, but she doesn't seem to UNDERSTAND, and maybe that's because you start crying again every time you try to open your mouth.
Dammit, now I'm crying again. I shouldn't have read those lyrics, I should have just posted the damn things instead of trying to write about 'em. Well, that will teach me.
However, I have made oatmeal-chocolate chip-walnut cookies today. The grad presents have started coming in as well, so I did some non-PUTSA-assisted shopping and bought a new pair of black sandals (2" heels! Oh my!), a tealish Camisole of Cuteness, and the Love Actually DVD. That last one is my sister's grad present to me, but she owes me money for it. Weird, no? Ah well.
Three days until my hair is chopped off. Go me!
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
The Chick Tenor shirt on my back is a source of much joy just now. It is incredibly hot. I will see if I can get a photo of it posted or some such, because it is so very fabulous.
Not much going on this morning. I'm very lazy. Slept til 7:35 because of forgetting to set my alarm, and then rode my bike to school, where I am now not doing the dribble of chemistry homework I have left from yesterday.
I really want some cheese and crackers. I've been on a cracker binge ever since the Firthathon. Really: four kinds of crackers, each one being construed as a food group, constitues a balanced diet! Of course, the Firthathon itself was a thing of joy, not only because of the crackers. And now the month of June is looking just as fabulous as the Firthathon. I knew that May would be stressful, between one thing and another... and another, and another, and another. But May is now over and it is time to have fun.
And to find a job (see the PUTSA blog for details on how that's gone in the past...). Whatever, something will turn up. Because I will make my own opportunities, etc.
And to write diploma exams. But it has occurred to me on many occasions that actually, the chem diploma doesn't matter that much because all I need to graduate is English, and all I need to keep my university offers is a 78% average. Groovy.
Tom is fabulous. Not only did he remember that The Boy traditionally brings The Corsage on grad night, but he actually took me into the city to choose my own corsage. The first thing the girl in the shop said when she saw us and learned we were corsage shopping was, "Good thing he brought you. Boys are crap at picking flowers." Hee! So I've wound up with an Ulster Mary orchid (burgundy) and agapanthus corsage. Hooray!
Grad in four days. I hope I don't screw up and trip on the stage or anything.
Am considering going naked under my cap and gown.
Not much going on this morning. I'm very lazy. Slept til 7:35 because of forgetting to set my alarm, and then rode my bike to school, where I am now not doing the dribble of chemistry homework I have left from yesterday.
I really want some cheese and crackers. I've been on a cracker binge ever since the Firthathon. Really: four kinds of crackers, each one being construed as a food group, constitues a balanced diet! Of course, the Firthathon itself was a thing of joy, not only because of the crackers. And now the month of June is looking just as fabulous as the Firthathon. I knew that May would be stressful, between one thing and another... and another, and another, and another. But May is now over and it is time to have fun.
And to find a job (see the PUTSA blog for details on how that's gone in the past...). Whatever, something will turn up. Because I will make my own opportunities, etc.
And to write diploma exams. But it has occurred to me on many occasions that actually, the chem diploma doesn't matter that much because all I need to graduate is English, and all I need to keep my university offers is a 78% average. Groovy.
Tom is fabulous. Not only did he remember that The Boy traditionally brings The Corsage on grad night, but he actually took me into the city to choose my own corsage. The first thing the girl in the shop said when she saw us and learned we were corsage shopping was, "Good thing he brought you. Boys are crap at picking flowers." Hee! So I've wound up with an Ulster Mary orchid (burgundy) and agapanthus corsage. Hooray!
Grad in four days. I hope I don't screw up and trip on the stage or anything.
Am considering going naked under my cap and gown.
